The Fields

I'm really excited for the release of "The Fields" - based on true events - starting Cloris Leachman and Tara Reid!! It was filmed not too far from where I live :)

Dear Friend by Margaret Brownley

This is beautifully written, by Margaret Brownley, and puts into words everything that I'm feeling right now. It's as if she's looked right into my heart....

Dear Friend,

Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time.

Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care.

Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give.

Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me. I need to hear them.

Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clichés. I can't handle another person telling me that time heals all wounds.

Please don't try to find the "right" words to say to me. There's nothing you can say to take away the hurt. What I need are hugs, not words.

Please don't push me to do things I'm not ready to do, or feel hurt if I seem withdrawn. This is a necessary part of my recovery.

Please don't stop calling me. You might think you're respecting my privacy, but to me it feels like abandonment. Please don't expect me to be the same as I was before. I've been through a traumatic experience and I'm a different person.

Please accept me for who I am today. Pray with me and for me. Should I falter in my own faith, let me lean on yours. In return for your loving support, I promise that after I've worked through my grief, I will be a more loving, caring, sensitive, and compassionate friend - because I have learned from the best.

Love,

Back from long absence

It's been a very hard year. Dad's lymphoma of the brain came back again after we thought the chemo nipped it out. I visited with him in late January and helped him explain to the family that it was his wishes to stop all further treatments :( I wish I could have been with him the past few months, to hold his hand, to look in his eyes, to hug him when I told him I loved him, and to be with mom to give her comfort and hugs as she watched her soulmate slowly slip away.

Dad passed away on June 29th. I thank God that we were able to be by his side, and that he knew we were there. And now that all the services are over, and we are back home, I'm sitting here wondering.... how do I pick up the pieces and continue on when I feel so empty? I know that time heals all wounds and that he's in a much better place, so please don't tell me that, even tho you say it out of kindness. Instead, call me, hug me, cry with me.......

Daughter's Home From Iraq :)

Woohooo!! It's a fantastic day!! My daughter is safely home from Iraq. Words can't describe how great it felt to be able to wrap my arms around her and give her a huge hug!! I am so proud of her, and all of our service men and women!!

And on that note.... I'll still be on the scarce side for awhile as I enjoy spending time with my daughter :)

Home Improvement Projects

I've been scarce the past couple weeks due to the hubby and I working on some home improvement projects that turned out to be bigger time hogs than what we had anticipated. We started with installing a wood laminate flooring in the foyer. Going on two weeks now, we're down to only having molding work left to do. We also redid our living room window which started off with replacing the blinds that our furchildren destroyed, and turned into more of a project because the molding had to be sanded and restained (numerous times) before the new blinds could be put up. We finished this project this evening (wooohooo!) Next on the honey-do-list is putting in a bathroom downstairs. Got my fingers crossed that this all gets finished before my daughter gets home from Iraq in a few weeks LOL

I put together a couple short slide shows of what we're doing:





I sure miss my time to open psp to tag, scrap, and relax, but each little bit that gets accomplished in these projects is rewarding, knowing that the house is going to look that much nicer when my daughter gets home :):)

Computer Woes

My computer was supposed to go in to the shop yesterday to get fixed. Needless-to-say, it didn't make it there and now it looks like it won't get in until late September. Hopefully by then I'll be able to get my hands on a new tower case and motherboard and just transfer everything over. Until then, looks like I'll just have to continue "babying" it :(

Did He Cut Her Up?

Do you remember my blog post on Feb 10th about the dismembered body being found in garbage bags along two local interstates? Today's front page of the local newspaper is titled "Did He Cut Her Up?" An arrest has been made and we may be able to sleep just a little easier tonight knowing someone who is capable of such a horrific crime is locked up. And as expected, he is proclaiming his innocence, so it will be interesting to see how he explains her hands being found in the pipes of the house he was renting/living in.

I've always been fascinated in reading about true crime (it all started with a criminal justice class I took in college on serial killers.... well, not completely true, after all I did grow up as the daughter of a cop! LOL) so this is definitely one case I will be following closely. It's looking promising that this will not be classified as just another unsolved murder.

If you'd like to read the newspaper articles, follow this link.

Until next time.....

Blah!

You ever have those days where you feel like the world is spinning out of control and everyone is pulling at you from all different directions? That's how I've been feeling the past 4 or so months. Simple things that I used to enjoy so much don't seem to hold my attention anymore. People are on my nerves a lot lately, some are on my last nerves. I seem to be more blunt and to the point, not afraid to say what's on my mind and OMG, am I ever feeling wound up tighter than a rubber band waiting to just go :::boing::: and start bouncing off walls, ceilings, and floors. How I've managed to not tell certain people how much they irritate me right about now is beyond me. But yet, I find that I'm just pushing myself away from everyone right now cuz the silliest things are upsetting me. Like earlier tonight.... in this group I'm a member in, someone made a gorgeous tag and gave a bunch of peeps the tag and damnitall if I didn't get one. And it made me cry. Go figure!

Ugh! I have a seasonal affective disorder (aka SAD, aka winter depression) and it feels like it's kicking my butt this winter. My circadian rhythm is outta whack cuz I work midnights on the weekends and I'm sure that doesn't help matters either. So..... forget the friggin light therapy and meds... I just want winter to go away. I want the sun to come out and the days to be long and warm and for me to go back to being me.... happy and content and not wanting to throttle the next person who makes me wanna cry or tell them off!

Sigh! Only 30 more days till Spring and another damn snowstorm coming this weekend. And once again, I'll be stuck at work in a dingy motel room when I'm not working cuz I won't be able to make it home. What joy :(

Casino Fun!

Hubby and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past Valentine's day. Unfortunately, he had to work over 12 hours, so we weren't able to celebrate that day, but he did take me out yesterday for a belated anniversary/valentine's day pressie. We have a new casino (Mount Airy Casino Resort) that opened up at one of the local resorts so we went and played slots all afternoon LOL.

I've been to one of the casino's that my parent's like to go to on one of the indian reservations outside of Hobbs, NM called Black Gold Casino, but let me tell you.... Mount Airy is huge compared to Black Gold. Black Gold has only 750 slot machines whereas Mount Airy has 2,500 slot machines. Okay, I know what you seasoned players are thinking..... this is nothing compared to Atlantic City or Vegas, but this chick has never been inside anything that remotely resembles a casino. So, to me, this was just too cool and exciting!

I do recommend that you don't go after working all night like I did. By an hour in, all the lights and sounds were starting to play with my head and I was getting sick. It can definitely be a sensory overload.

We took a break and stood in line for the buffet. And let me tell you, that buffet is definitely not cheap! It's $21.95 per person, and if you have your player's card, you get $2 off. As for the food, all I can say is holy wow, there was a ton of it! There was a huge soup and salad bar, five different types of main food stations (asian, european, homestyle, pizza, and pasta), and a huge dessert bar. It's impossible to walk out of there still feeling hungry. Even considering the amount of food, I still think it's a bit pricey. There's also a couple restaurants and a diner there but I'm not sure what their prices are like.

After pigging out, we went back out on the floor. By then, it's mid afternoon and the place is swamped. We played for a little while longer, but my head was starting to spin (hmmm, looking back, I wonder if that was due to the couple drinks I had? ROFL) from all the noise and lack of sleep so we decided to just call it a day and come on home.

All in all, it was a fun afternoon. I do think that when we go back, we'll probably go around 3 or 4 in the morning when it isn't so "busy". I will definitely take my parents the next time they come up for a visit!

Oh, and I'm not telling how well we did or didn't do. ROFL!

Times Are Changing In The Poconos

I remember the first time I heard about the Pocono Mountains. It was in the back of a bridal magazine amongst all the "great places to enjoy your honeymoon" advertisements, complete with heart shaped tubs and picturesque landscapes. That was 25 years ago when a young girl could dream of a romantic adventure in what was then known as the "honeymoon capital of the world".

Times and places change and the Poconos are no different. Last week on my way home from work, I snapped this picture as I was driving down the interstate. It's not every day one sees a large flashing sign on the side of road signifying police activity. And the story behind it is a very sad and grotesque one.

On the morning of January 29, road crews were out treating the roads for an anticipated freezing rain storm when they discovered a garbage bag tossed on the side of the interstate with what appeared to be human remains inside. By late that evening, a total of eight bags of human remains were found over an approximate twenty mile stretch that covered two interstates and two counties. There seemed to be little hope that an identification would be made or that all of the remains would be found. (news link)

Within a week, the authorities were able to make a positive ID, and are now focusing intensely on the investigation to find the person or persons responsible for the heinous crime. A former profiler for the FBI was stated as saying "killer probably likes infamy, someone with a need to shock and offend people" and "it's chilling to think that this may not be the killer's first victim". (news link)

Yes, times are changing in the Pocono Mountains and not for the good. We can now add this to our dirty laundry list that also includes strippers on a public golf course, a large illegal alien bust, suspected NYC cop shooters nabbed (and in the same area as where the remains were found!) and the Ft. Dix terrorists living and training here in the Poconos. (news link)

As my sister in law said, maybe it's time to pack up and move to the moon, but I'm sure if that was an option, it wouldn't take long for times to change there either.